I received some really helpful feedback on my latest story (DLY, chapter 1: Our Father) and have taken it into account, giving it a bit of a rewrite. (I just edited the submission, refresh it if you don't see the difference.) Nothing too incredibly major--it's not like anyone who has already read it now has to read it again because the plot is totally different now or anything. I just tried to address some of the literary stuff I had been told--the show vs. tell issue, the way I handled Girard's emotional state, etc. Hopefully it's a better now! I'm still very excited about this series, and now that I'm done with chapter one (again,) hopefully I can get some decent work on chapter two done before too long.
Also, the title of this journal was taken from Ghost Opera: The Second Coming. Because, you know, updated rerelease and all that.
Also, I appear to have accidentally spammed the thing into all sorts of groups while I was at it. If you are affected by this (like you're in one of those groups and wondering what the hell I'm doing forcing my completely unrelated story on you or something,) all I can say is I'm really sorry about that, and I actually didn't do it. It was a SoFurry bug--the amount of groups to which the story was attached basically...exploded, randomly, when I made the edit. I already filed a Mantis ticket on it.
http://yiffstar.com/mantis/view.php?id=2004
Sorry about that. :(
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